Mental Health Dad

Welcome

Valentines Day

Greetings everyone;

     Well, here we are again with another Valentines Day upon us.  In the spirit of inspiration I composed a little poem I hope you all will find humorous, or at least put a smile on your face.  Share it with a love one, keep it to yourself, or spread it around with the world.  The world could use a lot more days like this, with the exception of the commercialism.  All in all, may peace, prosperity, and promise be in everyones future and remember a little caring can go a long, long way. 

Christmas Songs A Plenty

Happy holiday greetings to all; First, I hope that everyone has a very joyous holiday season this year.  I also wish for a prosperous and healthy new year in 2008.  I have been busy with the holiday shopping and spreading of yuletide cheer.  I have composed a new poem for all to enjoy.  For all of you who appreciate Christmas carols and the poetic verses they resound then please enjoy my rendition of rhyming many carols into one poem.  I had to work hard at this endeavor as many of the carols were tough to rhyme.  So, if your favorite one isn't listed, then I apologize in advanced.  Again, Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all and a very happy new year. 

Thanksgiving Day

Greetings, all;     I know that all of you are probably busy getting ready for this Thursdays activities.  Thanksgiving day can be trying at times.  I hope that everyone will have the grandest of times while enjoying the day with family.  My thoughts will be with my sister, who I will miss since she won't be able to attend.  I also know however, that she will enjoy the day herself in her own way with her own family.  As you read this poem about Thanksgiving day, prepare yourselves mentally as well as physically to experience a joyous time with loved ones, and always appreciate that which you have while you still have it. So often It isn't until we lose that which we have that we regret it.  So, to all my fans, have a happy and safe Thanksgiving. 

Mental Health Awareness Week

Hello again all;  It's that time of the year again.  For those of you who don't know, it's mental health awareness week.  This is the time of year when NAMI ( national association of mental institution ) pushes for their goal to make mental health issues aware to the public.  There is an interesting blurb about bipolar disorder, should you go to their website, www.nami.org.  I encourage anyone interested to visit this site and become more familiar with their efforts in finding cures for different mental health issues.  As always, should you be obligated to contribute, the tip jar available on my home page is just the place to do that.  Making people aware of these disorders is the first step, funding supplies for research is the next.  A big thanks to all who give. 

My Greatest Day

     Greetings to all;  I know it has been some time since I've written but there has not been alot that has happened since the second week of school.  I suppose that is a good thing however, but I do wish to share with you one great event that I will savor for a long time to come.  As most of you know, my son Matthew is on the 7th grade football team.  He is very excited to be a part of that group and hopefully will make lots of friends that he can keep for some time.  His first game was last Friday, 9/21/07, and though he didn't start the game I felt  like something good was going to happen.  Matts team has three levels of defense, a red squad, a blue squad, and a white squad.  Matt is a part of the white squad of the defense.  As this level is the team that is sent in when the team is leading by alot he didn't get to play until the 3rd quarter.  Matt is noticeably the hugest player on the team so it was east to pick him out when he went in.  For the first five plays he seemed quite timid coming off the ball when it was snapped.  His team did a good job though and managed to hold the line anyway.  In the two plays that Matt came out of the game, the other team had moved the ball down to the 1 yard line and was getting ready to score.  The coach put Matt back in, but it wasn't enough to stop the run for the opposing teams touchdown.  As the running back scored off of Matt I watched him to see how he would react to it.  I was pleasantly suprised to see that he was disappointed but not freaking out.  What happened next will live in my mind forever.  At this level of football, extra point attempts are not kicked.  They are decided by either a running play, worth 2 points, or a passing play, worth 1 point.  As luck would have it, the opposing team lined up for the same running play they just executed for their touchdown.  I prayed that Matt would noticed this and be ready for it this time.  My prayers were answered.  As the ball was snapped, Matt moved himself into position to bounce off of the offensive lineman and right into the running back where three other of his teammates collectively sacked the runner short of the goal line thwarting the extra point attempt and preventing no more points to be scored against them on that drive.  Coincidentally, the other team never scored at all for the rest of the game.  Matts team won the game 36-14.  The victory celebration that followed in my heart was greater than all the superbowls, world series', NBA finals', and all other sports finals that could ever happen.  MY son was and is a CHAMPION, and if he doesn't have any other moments in his life like that again, he will always remain my CHAMP. 

     We all know what it takes for a "normal" child to reach that level of expectability with their parents.  But, oh how much sweeter the rewards are when it is one of our kids that can rise to the occasion and, if for only one day, be raised in the spotlight by other than family and enjoy what it means to have accomplished  something all by themselves.  If I should die tomorrow, I can surely say that I have been blessed.  To all who struggle with the afflictions of what your children suffer from, may you experience such joy in your future.  If you have been moved by these events, please give to the tip jar to help find a cure for what ails your child and as always, thank you.   

New School Year

     First, let me say hello to everyone.  I apoligize for my absense last month, alot has happened in my life and I went on a little summer vacation of my own.  I am back now and feeling refreshed and ready to begin posting regularly.  I am hoping that I will hear from all about your new experiences and fears about the upcoming school year.  As I know, the new school year can produce some massive anxiety for our children even on the best of days.  So as our special needs children enter the new year, emotions can go off like the finale of a fireworks show on the fourth of July.  What I would like to do is to enlighten you as to my experiences this week from my special needs son Matt.  His first week of school has been interesting and I hope that all my fans will be able to relate to and take comfort in the fact that they are not alone. 

     I must begin with the week before the first week of school.  I went in to the doctor to take a blood test that the he ordered for a physical he wanted me to take.  I was ordered back the next day and was greeted with the news that I am now a type 2 diabetic.  As many of you know, it pains us all to hear the doctors label our children with something so to be labeled myself with something was like, as I put it, hitting a brick wall at about 90mph.  Matt took the news suprisingly well, or so I thought.  Matt has begun practicing with the football team for this year.  He has been doing well and hopes to start in their first game.  This however, takes up almost all of his afternoon after school.  On the first day of school, he missed his bus because they were late in arriving at the house.  As you know, if something like this happens to a special needs child like mine then his whole day is thrown off.  As it happened, my wife took him to school and then she and I went to the bus company and ordered that this be remedied starting the next day.  Since then we haven't had any problems.  The third day of school was picture day.  Because he is partly mainstreamed in his class schedule, he wasn't sure who he should go with to get his pictures taken with.  As it turns out he wound up missing his picture take and now has to wait until mid October for retakes.  So, done with the first week right?  Wrong.  By the end of the first week we had lost his cell phone, jacket, hat, and a music book he lent to a classmate to "look at" to see if he would like to use which we have to pay for. 

     So goes the end of week 1.  We all hope that things will get easier as we embark on the journey of 7th grade and I know that things will.  It amazes me however that things like a new school year always seem to go like this, even with the best planning and preparation ahead of time.  So, to everyone who may be going through similar experiences as these this week, please rely on the fact that things will get better and that routines will become routine as time passes.  The important thing to do is to be there for them when they need you for guidance and direction and assurance that all will work out in the end. 

Football Camp

     As most of you know, My son Matthew is currently attending football camp.  This stemmed from a request that he made of us at the end of the last school year.  Eventhough I am still a paranoid father, I wish to share some tidbits as to how things are going.  To begin, football camp is only 1 week long.  It runs Monday thru Friday.  The only requirements for him to bring with him were:  Football cleats (shoes), and an athletic supporter.  Upon finding out that an athletic supporter means a jock-strap, not someone on the sidelines going; rah, rah, rah we hunted for one at the local everything market.  Imagine our surprise when we found out that they didn't carry the size that he needed.  We tried another store only to find out the same thing.  It wasn't until we went to the fifth and last possible place that we foung something that would work.  On a side note, the shoes we foung right away.  So Matts first day was filled with anxiety.  He was anxious to get started, and my wife and I were anxious that he would not break every bone in his body.  Every day the camp was 3 hours long.  An hour and a half into the first day, he calls home asking to come home.  Up to this point, my wife and I had spent about 2-3 hundred dollars outfitting Matt and registring him for the school season.  Needless to say, he was not coming home that day until he was finished.  Upon his coming home, he was in better spirits and had a positive outlook for the next day.  The rest of the week has gone by without incident and he is enjoying all that he is learning.  This caused me to reflect on something.  Was this a time to (let out the leash) a little and trust that my special boy has progressed to the next level in his development?  Or, am I just an overly concerned parent who would just be happy enclosing my son in a bubble for the rest of his life.  At times it is so hard to determine that line and when it needs to be crossed or not.  I hope that this true life story rings a bell with you and when you get the chance to decide to let go a little or grab on tight, that your heart will point you in the right direction.  To all like myself, keep up the good fight. 

Small Vacation

Hello all.  I just got back from a small vacation the family and I took in the state of Washington.  We had a great time not only for ourselves but with some of our extended family members as well.  We took my sister-in-law and her daughter with us and when we got up to our destination of Tacoma, we were to meet up with my sister-in-laws sons.  Taylor and Thomas are two great boys.  They both have great dispositions and I believe that they know what they want to do with their lives.  They seem to have direction, boundaries, and clear cut goals to get themselves where they want to be.  They could have an easier time of it though if their father wouldn't get in the way all the time, but that's a different story. 

     We started off by getting to the hotel in Tacoma and since we took two cars up there, we waited for my wife to get there after picking up Taylor and Thomas.  It was really nice to see them again.  The last time that I saw them was when they were just little boys.  Now, they are grown up teenagers and pretty good looking to the girls.  Anyway, my youngest son, Joseph and I went to a Seattle Mariners baseball game that night.  We had very good seats and we had a BALL!  No, we weren't able to actually catch a ball but it didn't matter none.  Let's put it this way, ( tickets: $76., parking: $15., food, food, and more food: $44., being thanked for having a really good time: priceless.). 

     The next day, all eight of us went to a water park in the Tacoma area.  We spent the day there and we had a blast as a family.  There were a few of us that enjoyed the sun a little too much though.  My wife, oldest son Matthew, and nephew Thomas all received major sunburns.  Matthew and I went on this one ride which almost drowned him and myself.  I forget the name of it now but the premis was that you were to sit on a giant blown up tube, one person facing in one direction and the other person in the other direction.  Then it was down the slide you went.  I normally don't like big long scary rides like that but this one was a lot of fun.  The biggest thrill of the whole day was seeing how well both my sons and my nephews got along with each other.  See, as well as my son Matthew being bipolar, my nephew Thomas is also bipolar.  My nephew Taylor also admitted that he might also be somewhere on the spectrum of bipolar.  No matter how you looked at it though, all four of the boys got along as if they were brothers and the best of friends.  There wasn't even one hint of a disagreement or an episode from any of them the whole time.  It was like all the planets in the cosmos came into alignment and the whole world was right for just once in time.  I can tell all you parents out there, If you get a chance to ever experience such ease or normalness in life, please take full advantage of it.  Photo it for documentation, and ascribe it to memory some how.  We all went home the next day but for me I relived every moment over and over in my head for I knew that that was to be the moment of time that I can truly say;  There was once a time that my family was normal. 

     In conclusion, let this little trip inspire all who read it to press on to develope your own moments in time such as these and know that there is always a glimmer of hope that one day we all can live rich filled lives where diseases and diagnoses can go by the wayside.  One day we all can say, finally, we are all as one.  Until that day, we are all sailing on different vessels to the same point in the sea.  It's not a race to see who gets there first, but rather to see who completes the race at all.  May the wind be at your backs always. 

Poker vs. Special Needs

     Over the last several years I've been exposed and interested in ESPN's world series of poker on t.v.  I have known for some time how to play some poker games.  My friends and I used to play 5-card draw, 5-card stud, and 7-card stud.  But now, no limit texas hold-em, is all the rage.  Recently, my wife and I helped my special needs son in rearranging his bedroom furniture.  It had been something he had wanted to do for some time now, so we indulged him.  The reason that I mention this is that during the fiascoe that was this change in his room I became intrigued as to the similarities in poker and the handling of a special needs teenager. 

     For instance; in poker, the object is to make the best 5-card hand you can with the cards you have.  Sometimes you have more than 5 cards to consider and sometimes you don't.  In handling my son, I often have to give him 5 or more choices to rank, either highest priority or best to worst, so that I may know how to approach helping him and teach him how to help himself later. 

     In poker, there are multiple rounds of betting involved during a hand.  In helping my son, I'm always asking him if he is sure if he wants to go down a certain path, figuratively, or if he wishes to change his mind.  The is much like raising a bet to see if your opponent is still "in or out".  Oddly enough, my son never folds, he just keeps on feeding the pot. 

     In poker, specifically no limit texas hold-em, you have the option of going "all-in" at any time.  For those who don't understand what this means, it means that you can put all of your chips in the pot at any time.  When it comes to helping my son, this is usually seen when he completely resists my advise.  This is usually when he and I butt heads the worst and most often. 

     In conlusion;  whether I have a royal flush or high card, I'm always battling between trying to check-raise my son, fold to his superior hand, call his bluff, go all-in on my bluff, or slow play my hand until I see what he is trying to do.  It is often a case of who knows better vs. who thinks he knows better.  I guess that my final thought on this is that since it is gambling anyway, you are probably better off heeding the advise of the moral majority and don't gamble at all.  If you do decide to though, bet with your head not over it, set a limit, and most of all, make it what it is........fun!      

It's Officially Here!

     Well, I suppose that I should rejoice but I cannot.  It's officially here.  My oldest special needs child is now thirteen years old.  I now have a teenager.  I've heard all the horror stories.  I've seen all the examples.  I only hope that I am ready for the years yet to come.  I anticipate with great joy the ability to have more adult talks with my child, and I await his new experiences he will encounter.  I know I don't ask for very much from all of you, but I am asking this time if you'll let me know about your experiences with teenagerism.  Please include anything that has helped, as well as anything that hasn't helped, so that I might build up my inventory of supplies that I can use to make it through the tough times.  I will follow up with everyone regularly as needed.  Thanks for your care and understanding.